Hacktoberfest 2026 · Touch Grass
Touch Grass, Babu
An Android app with a deadpan, loving, deeply unimpressed Asian Mom living inside it. Spend 15 minutes on a feed or a game and she shows up, roasts you, and locks the app until you've actually been outside. She runs on your phone, fully offline: a fine-tuned open-weight model, no servers, no account.
Try her
Get caught.
Every line here was written by the fine-tuned model ahead of time, exactly how the app works: Mom fills her roast bank while the phone charges, so the right roast is waiting the moment you're caught.
How it works
- Mom watches.A background service reads which app is on screen (Android Usage Access). Feeds and every game on your phone count.
- 15 minutes in, she pops up.A full-screen roast covers the app. It stays locked: closing and reopening just brings her back.
- Go outside.The lock lifts after 45 minutes out of the app and 1,000 steps (step counter). Numbers are yours to set.
- Or prove it.Need your phone sooner? Send Mom a photo. An on-device vision model and the light sensor check it's really outdoors and really daylight.
- Bedtime is different.Late at night she won't send you out. She sends you to bed, and the app stays locked until morning.
Two hours and fourteen minutes of Township. You have successfully turned your living room into a digital landfill. Go buy coriander.
Steps 412 / 1000 Outside 18 / 45 min Show Mom I'm outsideThe model
A 4B model that learned to be Mom.
Mom's full personality is a 3,700-token prompt. A budget phone reads prompts at ~1.6 tokens a second, so that prompt alone would take 38 minutes. So I distilled it into the weights: Qwen3.5-4B, LoRA fine-tuned on Tinker with replies written by a bigger open model playing Mom. Now she needs 41 tokens.
| 30 held-out situations | base, no prompt | base + 3.7k prompt | Mom v1 | Mom v2 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Follows the rule | 33% | 93% | 83% | 93% |
| Savagery when roasting (0–5) | 0.00 | 3.33 | 3.08 | 3.25 |
| In character (0–2) | 0.40 | 1.97 | 1.90 | 1.97 |
| Prompt tokens | 41 | 3,675 | 41 | 41 |
On the phone she writes ~1.4 tokens a second, about a minute per roast. So she doesn't write while you scroll: she writes a roast bank while the phone charges (pinned to the 4 fast cores), and the roast is ready the instant you're caught.
The roast wall
Things Mom has said.
Straight from her roast bank, written by the model on a laptop and on the phone. Shuffle
Why open
Mom doesn't gossip.
- Your screen time stays on your phone. The app has no internet permission at all. Which apps you use at 2am is nobody's business but Mom's.
- Works with no signal. On a trail, in a park, in airplane mode. Exactly where you're supposed to be.
- Costs nothing to run. No API bill per roast, forever.
- I could change her. Open weights meant I could fine-tune the persona into the model. A closed API would have meant a 3,700-token prompt, a server, and a network call every time.